Seven People Who Have Changed My Life

This is a long blog entry and I don't really expect anyone to read this. I'm mainly writing this for my own memory. But if you do take the time to read it you get to find out a little bit about some amazing people who changed my life forever.

Have you ever been totally in love with seven different people? I have...I am. My seven students. They are just the most amazing people you could ever meet. When I started working at Sunrise Ridge Intermediate School I could have never guessed that these kids I'm supposed to be teaching would actually teach me. I'm not really sure how much I'm allowed to share with you so I'm going to keep things vague, so stay with me.

One of my students is LDS and sometimes she would say things to me that were so simple but so profound. Around Easter time she asked me what my favorite holiday was. I responded and asked her which her's was. She told me it was Easter, assuming she said Easter because it was days away I asked why. Her response was something like this, "because of Easter I get to be with my family forever." I was shocked by this simple statement. Moments like this happened quite often. This student was always saying these tiny comments that just put me in my place.

Another of my students ate Ranch dressing with absolutely everything. Actually, I had two students who did that. They just ate it plain. It was gross. Lunch was not my favorite time. I love my kids, but watching them eat was repulsive. They would dip their burritos, sloppy joe's, french fries, green beans, and anything else on their plate in Ranch.

A student that I have mentioned before on Facebook use to sing to me. The first time I heard her sing was to The Climb by Miley Cyrus. It was amazing how even though she couldn't form sentences or say more than yes and yo (her version of no) she was able to sing this song, following pitch and everything. Walking to choir she would always ask me to sing a song from Sesame Street that Bruno Mars sang while on the show. Here's the link, I definitely reccommend taking a look and really listening to the lyrics. I learned to love this song.

The last student I want to tell you about is probably just the cutest thing you could ever meet. She loves to be apart of normal education classes. She loves Gangnam Style, Finding Nemo, Monster's Inc and pretzels. Sometimes she called me mom and although I was so happy that she thought so highly of me, I of course, explained to her that I am not her mom. She loves to laugh and smile. We would go on walks before Language Arts and she would often hide in the bushes. I would pretend I couldn't see her and she would laugh and laugh. She loved to laugh at me when I did something dumb.


On my last day all seven of my students came to 5th period and sang You'll be in my Heart by Phil Collins. I wish I had videotaped that, but I was crying so hard I couldn't even think straight. Then they gave me these adorable flowers made from their handprints and these precious self-portraits and some handmade cards that made my heart ache.

I have never been faced with a more difficult task than saying goodbye to these sweet spirits. While walking my Finding Nemo loving student out to the bus she grabbed my hand to make me stop. I turned to look at her and she signed "I love you" to me. That was like a dagger to my heart. It was all I could do to get her on the bus without just completely breaking down.


I would like to take note that although I did cry periodically throughout the day, I did not truly breakdown until I reached my car.

I am so grateful for this opportunity that has completely changed my life. I miss those kids more than anything and wish I was back there with them rather than being up here at school. Is it sad that I would rather be with them than up here at school? I have more fun with those kids than people my own age. Sad, huh?

Flesh Wounds

In my scripture study tonight I was reading in 2nd Nephi chapter 6. (For those of you reading this who aren't LDS 2nd Nephi is a book of scripture in the Book of Mormon. For more information about that click here.) The eleventh verse says this, "Wherefore, after they are driven to and fro, for thus saith the angel many shall be afflicted in the flesh, and shall not be suffered to perish, because of the prayers of the faithful; they shall be scattered, and smitten, and hated; nevertheless, the Lord will be merciful unto them..."

This verse jumped off the page at me. It was as if my eyes were clouded over until I came to this verse and then suddenly I could see. It struck me that I have been driven to and fro in my life. I have been on a wild and emotional ride over the past two years and I have been afflicted with many flesh wounds, but I have not perished. I have been hurt deeply but nothing that has caused me so much pain that I perished. The pain and confusion that I have felt has helped me to become who I am today. In hindsight the things I've gone through made me better and stronger in my faith in the Lord. My love for Him and my testimony of Him has grown deeper because of these flesh wounds.

I have not perished, and I will not perish because in times of trouble I reach out to Him in earnest prayer. I have felt despair and when I reach out to the Lord I feel His mercy.

I am grateful that I will never be afflicted to the point of perishing because of the Atonement of Christ. I will only ever have a flesh wound.

Doomsday Resolutions

I have decided to jump aboard this whole doomsday thing, but I'm putting a spin on it. As I sit anxiously awaiting the end of the world I reflect upon what it has become. In the past six months alone we have had two terrible shootings. There are many wars being fought, some of which we aren't even aware of. There are wars between countries, religions, families and even ourselves. Everywhere you look there is poverty and destruction. If this is what our world has become then let it end tomorrow!
December 21, 2012 is the end and I'm going to create my own new world. Instead of New Years Resolutions I am making New World Resolutions. I hope that you will make these resolutions with me.
1). Serve often.
2). Love more.
3). Be positive.
4). Smile.
These are the four big changes I'm making in my life to create a new world, a better world. We shouldn't let our lives be lived in fear of what could happen next, we should be full of joy and love. Help me create that type of world. Help me make a world that is safe. Help me create a place where people are loved and given service. A world where children are safe and where families can live in peace. Help me create a world that we can trust.

Thoughts On Lincoln

I saw the movie Lincoln last night and I will admit I was not the biggest fan of the movie. I would have enjoyed it more watching it in a classroom setting where my professor could pause the movie and we could discuss the events portrayed in the film. That being said, I did learn three things from the movie. 

1). Insults are much more insulting when you aren't using swear words but words that are actual intelligible. 

My favorite part of the entire movie were the insults they tossed back and forth while debating the Amendment. Thaddeus Stevens is the funniest part of the movie. I wish I could remember the insults word for word, but I can't. I would see the movie again just for the insults. It makes you realize how silly people sound when their insults consist of the F bomb, the B word, etc. You really sound so much smarter when you use words with real meanings. It was like Shakespearean insults. Loved it. 

2). Abraham Lincoln is long winded and tells strange stories. 

President Lincoln would randomly start telling stories that were supposed to mean something to the people he was talking to. The first story he told was about a parrot who's owner killed him. That one wasn't very funny. However, there were other stories that were pretty funny. You should see it for the stories. After one of the stories Lincoln said, "I could write shorter sermons but once I get going I'm to lazy to stop." 

3). Our country has come so far. 

While watching Lincoln and witnessing how difficult it was for the 13th Amendment to be passed I realized that our country has really come so very far. In just 147 years we have changed so much that we now have a black president starting his second term! Do you think that the brave men who passed this amendment knew how far we would come in such a short amount of time? I may not have wanted Obama to win his second election but I do appreciate the steps it has taken for our nation to proudly have a black man as our president. Abraham Lincoln would be elated to see that what he worked so hard for has made a huge difference. We are an example to many other nations. We should be delighted to be citizens of this great nation.

Grateful for Friends

I have so many things going through my mind right now, but I can't post many of those thoughts because they would seem offensive. In my head they are not meant that way, but if you aren't me you don't know that.

It's funny how when you are surrounded by friends you take that friendship for granted. You don't realize how big a part they play in your day to day life.
When I lived in Ohio and needed my best friend she was only a five minute drive away. I never realized how incredibly blessed I was to have her so close. In college my best friend was a shout away...if she wasn't right next to me.
Now I am in St. George, Utah where I know...my family. Only my family. There are many things that I dislike about St. George, not even counting the fact that it's in Utah (yuck!). The thing that I have the hardest time with though is that I am alone.
Family is a blessing, but sometimes they aren't always enough. You need friends....I need friends.
So go to the Single's Ward! I know...you're all saying that. I can't. I went before and...it was dreadful. I sat there for three hours and not one person said a word to me. (That's the thing with the church out in Utah...they aren't as welcoming as out in "the mission field".) So go talk to them! Yeah, that was your next thought right? But let me ask you something...DO YOU KNOW ME? I am painfully shy around people I don't know...especially a large group of people my age. I don't do well with putting myself out there. I never have. When people find out that I have moved a lot they assume that I am naturally outgoing because I had to make friends somehow...you know what assuming does, right?
With all of my best friends I have never made the move to be friends, it has always been them. I don't know how to make friends. It sounds so silly, but it's true.
Luckily for me two of my very best friends are coming to visit next weekend and we are gonna go to the Single's Ward together. Maybe with those two hotties by my side someone will talk to me...or I'll feel comfortable enough to talk to them.


I'm sorry to anyone who read this. I'm not trying to sound like a whiny brat, I needed to vent and am clueless as to where my journal is. If you know anyone in St. George that is in need of another friend send them my way! If you don't, prayers of strength are just as good. Thanks :)

Heavenly Father Gained A Friend

     On Tuesday I called my Dad to ask him a simple question. To be honest I can't even remember what I wanted to talk to him about. He told me he wanted to talk to me about two things. The first thing he told me was a silly story about my little sister's dog and how he ran away. Then he got really serious and told me we needed to talk to about my dog, Nome. I tried to shut him down, which is my usual response when my parents bring him up because they are always just telling me how old he is. My dad wouldn't let it go like normal though. He told me that Nomie had not eaten or drank in two days. He said that his end is near. I started crying and didn't really stop the rest of the day. My dad asked me if I wanted them to wait until I got home, in three days, before they put him down, but they weren't really even sure he would make it that long. I asked them to try.
     Wednesday I woke up and tried to not think. It didn't work. I started crying again so I called my best friend Abby. I told her about how I felt like I was being so selfish trying to keep my dog alive for me, but at the same time I wasn't sure I could even handle being there. She gave me the idea to skype with him and say my goodbyes so that he could go and not be in anymore pain. I called my Dad and told him that I needed to skype with Nome and after I did that he could help Nome pass away. I then skyped with Nomie Boy for almost 2 hours. I told him how much I love him and that if he was ready then I wanted him to go. I told him lots of funny stories from our 19 years together. I asked him to find my future children and keep them company and to find Grandma McKean and play tug of war with her again. At one point in my one-sided conversation, Nome looked right at me through the camera and wagged his tail. That doesn't seem like a huge thing, but to me it was so much comfort. Nomie hasn't wagged his tail for a really long time. I knew that this was his way of telling me that he loves me and not to be sad anymore.
     The rest of the day I didn't want to answer my phone every time I saw my parents name come up on my caller i.d.
     Today, Thursday, I woke up to a post on my FB wall from my little sister. She told me that she saw Nome outside and he had the goofiest smile on his face. He smiles just like the dog Rigby from the book. I went about my day cleaning for about 7 hours (we had to white glove our apartment for checkout). I went out for cupcakes with one of my best friends for her birthday. When I got home my friend Julia came over and we chatted for a little bit because I'm headed home tomorrow and won't see her for a really long time. When she left I was getting ready to go to another friends apartment when my mom called. She told me that while she was at play practice Nomie went to sleep and didn't wake up. He went so peacefully. Tomorrow he will be cremated.
     Nome has been my best friend since I was one year old. He has been a huge part of my life for 19 years. I have known and loved him longer than any of my siblings. He helped me through huge changes in my life. He was afraid of fireworks. When I was little and would cry he would sit with me and howl. He hates broccoli. He once risked his life to protect us from two rottweilers. He would sit under, beside or in the car while we were packing it for a trip, terrified that we were going to leave him. He loves tug of war. He would bark and run all over the house when someone came to visit.
It's hard to believe that after so many years my puppy has gone to live with Heavenly Father. I'm not sure that a day will go by when I don't think of him. I love him so much. If you don't mind, and you're the praying sort, I could really use some prayers of comfort and strength.

Still Not Married!!! :)

      I did it! I got to the end of my Sophomore year at BYU-Ido and am still a happily single college student! Ha! I have officially lasted longer than half the campus I swear. lol Well, I guess there are five days left of the semester, but I'm gonna go ahead and say it's a safe bet that I won't be engaged in the next five days. 

     This semester has been weird. It started out exactly like I wanted it to and ended in a way I didn't see coming. I don't want to put specifics on here just in case certain people read, but just know that I didn't expect the semester to be ending the way it has. Here's the thing about the way it's ending, I am so glad that it has gone the way it has and not the way I wanted it to. 

     This semester I only had one roommate, which was super strange. We knew each other from last semester, her name is Jallyn. I guess the management called her on the last day of Winter Semester and told her they opened up a two-person apartment and asked her if we wanted it. She said yes and then came to the apartment I had been living in and told me. So it's just been the two of us all semester. That definitely has it's ups and downs and I don't think I'd do it again. I miss having lots of roommates. 

     About a month into the semester I went on two dates with a guy from church and after the second date he thought we were boyfriend/girlfriend and came over everyday, see how fast things move here? Obviously I had to break that one off. He was really nice about it though and we are friendly when we see each other around. 

     My best friend in the whole wide world and her mom came to visit me! Eryn drove out here from WA to spend a few days with me and that was fabulous to see her. It's crazy how we are still so close after 12 years of friendship, more than half of which we have been states away from each other. 

The week after she came my Mom and Dad came to visit me for the weekend. I took them around campus and to the Cocoa Bean and they took my roommate and I out for Big Jud's and to the movies to see Hunger Games. 

     Now it's the last week of the semester and I am so ready to get out of here. I've been trying to make myself sad about leaving, but it's not working. I keep telling myself to remember that this is the last time I will see almost everyone I've met up here because I'm not coming back for 2 years, but that just makes me excited. I am ready to leave and happy that when I come back I will be able to start over.

     This has been a really long post, sorry! I'll add some pictures at the bottom for comic relief! My semester in photographs! 

Top Left: Me and Eryn at the Cocoa Bean. 

Top Right: My Mom and Dad after walking around campus

Middle: Bill Cosby! I saw him perform!

Bottom Left: I attempted to work out everyday...that didn't last long. 

Bottom Right: My birthday! It was the first day of the semester.