Big News!

Well, I have some news to share. I have decided to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I will leave soon after my 21st birthday, in April.
Most of you probably know that boys in our church go on their missions at 19 and serve for two years. We women have to wait until we are 21 and we only go for 18 months, which is fine by me! I know I will really miss my family during this time. So, how did I come to this decision?
Since I was 17 I have struggled with the question of serving a mission. I have never had a desire to do so, nor did I feel like I was going to. In my church we receive these things called a patriarchal blessing. (To learn what that is click here.) In my blessing it says that I will serve a mission for the church "in some fashion." I never thought that that fashion was an actual mission. This past month I have thought more and more about a mission and if I should go. Then, on Wednesday night I really started to ponder it. In fact, I was thinking about it so much that I didn't sleep that night. I was really struggling with what to do. I finally came up with a plan and it felt good. On Thursday after class, I went to the temple with my roommate Jallyn. While we were in the temple I prayed some more about a mission and if the plan I had come up with is the right now for me. I felt peaceful. When I decided that I was going to serve a mission I finally felt relieved from this burden that had been holding me down for so long. I felt joy because I knew that I had a small piece of my life's plan figured out. So, this is the plan. I'm going to finish out this semester with work and school, then I'm going to go live with my parents and work my behind off. I will defer school for the Winter Semester and then, in April, I will leave for 18 months to serve wherever the Lord sends me, even if it is Temple Square. :)

Where I Am Now

2008

I recently had an unexpected conversation with someone from my past. We hadn't talked in almost a year. We discussed our lives and what we are up to. He is getting ready to leave for his mission to Thailand in a few weeks. I am so excited for him and this opportunity he is taking.
It's funny thinking about the 15 year old me and where I thought I would be at this point in my life. He was supposed to have been gone for a year by now, with me faithfully waiting to one day become his wife. Weird.
That was five years ago though. I've changed a lot since then.
I'm not the same bright eyed girl I was with an innocent outlook on life. I realize now that life usually doesn't work out the way we want it to. During our conversation he said that I sounded much more grown up. Although I did hit the big 2-0 I don't think he meant my voice sounded older. He's right, I have grown up, mostly because of him. Losing him forced me to grow up, to become closer to my Lord and to figure out what it is that I want to do with my life. I couldn't use the plan I had as a little girl anymore, that plan included him.

2012

In the course of our conversation we discovered that I am now working where he worked last semester. I was supposed to start this job last semester but my heart was in turmoil when I thought of starting then. I did not understand why I felt such grief when I thought of taking the job back then, but now I understand. The Lord was protecting me as He has done so many times before. As much as I have grown and matured I couldn't see him everyday for four hours, it would kill me.  The Lord knew and He saved me from that pain. Oh, the tender mercies.

That time in my life is over. I'm glad it happened, even the terrible heartbreak. I learned a lot about myself and about my Savior. I wouldn't go back and change it because that would change who I am right now and I like the person that I have become. I like the girl I am right now much more than I like the girl I was 5, even 2 years ago. Those experiences, dating him and then our break up, taught me more than any other experience in my long twenty years. I'm different. I'm happy. 

Woah! Did You See That? It Just Flew By!

Hard to believe that in one week I will officially be halfway through my Sophomore year of college! The past few days I have been thinking about how different this semester has been compared to my first semester of college last year. The biggest difference is that this year I haven't been homesick. Remember how last year I cried and cried, begging my parents to let me go home? Yeah...that didn't happen this time. That's not the only difference though.  

I have truly changed as a daughter of God. It sounds cheesy, I know, but it's true. I have taken steps in my life this year to help me be happier. One of the best things I've done this year is to eliminate people in my life who bring my heartache and disappointment. That was a hard decision to let some of these people go, but in the end it has really helped me to be happier. I don't dwell on the hurt they cause, but instead focus on the good times we had and thank Heavenly Father for placing them in my life when I most needed them.

This semester has also taught me a lot about how strong I am. Definitely not physically, I'll probably always be a weakling, but spiritually. I firmly believe that how you face your trials shows what type of person you are. In the trials I have faced this semester I have turned to God for help. He has calmed my troubled heart. During my times of turmoil and unrest, He has helped me to see the light at the end.

Left to Right: Rebekah, Jallyn, Kyla, Julia

Heavenly Father has sent me the most help through my best friend Jallyn and my kind roommates, Julia and Kyla. These three girls have brought me more comfort and love then they are aware of. The Lord must have given them an ocean full of patience because they have been so kind and willing to help me to grow. For that I am forever grateful. I have never lived with such amazing women as Kyla and Julia. I love them so much and hope that I have had an ounce of effect on their life because they have truly impacted mine.




Jallyn on the other hand is a league all her own. Heavenly Father sure knew what he was doing when He placed her in my life!

I'm not sure how I would have gotten through this semester without her! She has been such a rock in my life! Whenever I feel like I can't do something, she is right there pulling and pushing, reminding me that with God, all things are possible. I am forever indebted to her.

Heavenly Father has truly blessed me this semester. I have made some amazing friends and am looking forward to all the adventures next semester will bring! Well...excited and nervous at the same time. But I know that the Lord will be watching over me and will help me to make the best decisions.

And to all you nay sayers out there! I would just like to point out that I am proving you all wrong! Halfway done with my Sophomore year and still not married! That's right! I'm a rebellious little Mormon Child :)

All Politics Aside.

Today I had the amazing experience of attending a political rally for Mitt Romney. There was so much excitement in the crowd. People were chanting, some were singing, and there were countless acts of strangers becoming friends. There was a spirit of gratitude and cheerfulness within the crowd.
Romney talked about some great things. He mentioned the economy and employment. Of course everyone went wild.
All politics aside.
After the rally I was talking with the people I rode with and they brought up an interesting point. This election is probably the most important one of my life. I will be (hopefully) graduating college under this next president. I will be relying on him to open the job market back up. This next president is going to make or break my future.
Then, on the way home we saw a man on the side of the road with a sign that read,
"Embarrassed= Yes! Single father. Trying to save home. Anything will help. Looking for work. Thx."
Our next president, whomever that may be, has a big job in front of them. It doesn't matter what you believe, Liberal, Conservative, Left-Wing, or Right, the economy must be fixed. Not only for our future, but for those who are working right now.
I know how scary it is for the provider of my family to be out of a job. I could imagine the anguish that man with the sign must be feeling.
Our next president needs to be a man full of integrity. One that is going to work for me and for the man loosing his home. There's more than one future riding on this next election.

I don't go out with a bang, that's how I'm coming in

The year 2011 is officially over. My Sophomore year of college has begun. Although there's already been some slight drama, I'm determined to not let it dictate the rest of my time here.
I am in the University Choir this year. It's not an audition choir, but I'm just doing it for fun and to learn more techniques. I've never had voice lessons, so I'm excited for this opportunity.
Last year I was so wrapped up in what everyone thought of me and getting  over Jeff, that I couldn't focus on the things that were really important. I will not make the same mistakes.
I am going to find ways to motivate myself into doing homework.
I am going to focus on becoming the person I have always wanted to become.
I am going to continue strengthening my relationships with my dear friends, but also create new and lasting friendships.
I am not going to search for a boy. Although having a boyfriend is always nice, I don't care if I have one. I'm not searching to get married like so many of the girls out here. I am at school for an education, not a husband.
I am going to take everything I can out of the college experience and never take it for granted.
This year will be one to remember. That I'll make sure of.

It's All Just Bullying

My mom and I saw the movie, The Help tonight. You know, we learn about Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr in school, but nothing really hits you. Nothing makes you understand just how awful it was for the African Americans. I've seen the old black and white newsreels of the police beating back protesters, or "washing" them away with the fire hose. To be honest, those didn't make an impact. Yes, it was awful to see people being treated that way, but they were just people without a name.
This was different. This wasn't just a lesson, it was a story with a face and a name. Their stories hit home.
I cannot adequately explain how I felt. I just sat there, holding back tears, thinking. I asked myself so many questions.
"If I had been raised back then, would I have treated African Americans like this?"
"How can people, made by the same Creator, treat each other this way?"
"Why did we, God fearing people, allow this to happen?"
But mostly I just repeated this next question over and over, "What would I have done?"
What would I have done?
These tears that I'm feeling now, would I still be sympathetic if I had lived then? Would I have been like Skeeter...or Ms. Hilly?
I want to believe I would be like Skeeter, sympathetic and yearning to help. There's no way to really know...
I wish that I could go back in time, tried to help out in someway. I...am speechless. Honestly, I have no words to describe how this makes me feel.
But it does make me think.
 Today I read an article about a boy who killed his gay classmate in 2008. He was just sentenced to 21 years in prison.
Today I heard on the radio about a man on death sentence for shooting and killing multiple Muslims after 9/11.
Today I realized that hatred of blacks was just like these two events, only much larger and they lasted much longer.
All of these events in history were all caused by bullying. That's all they are. Each is on a different part of the same spectrum.
I may not be able to go back in time and fix the mistakes of our ancestors, but I can be apart of the change now. I will not stand for bullying or ignorance. I can teach my children to be accepting of everyone, color, sexual orientation, religion, etc. I can stand up for those I see or hear being treated unkindly.
I don't want my children and grandchildren to look back on my time here on earth and wonder if I ever did anything to try and stop the violence.
I want them to know.

This Place I Once Called...Home?

I'm feeling a little like a nomad lately. I don't live in Idaho, I don't live in Zion and I don't really live with my family...so where do I live? Honestly, doesn't matter much as long as I have a roof over my head! The question that really gets me is, "So, where are you from?" Ha! Like I know! My best answer, "America." What else would I say? However, I have just moved from Zion National Park back in with my parents, for now. So, here are some pictures of the place I called home for a couple months.

Wild turkey that live in the mountains.

My favorite road sign. I always thought it was so clever.