It happened. Life moved on. Although at this exact moment it is rainy in Rexburg, Idaho, there is sun in my life. The impossible became possible. Not only did it become possible, but I achieved it. I am moving on in my life and I don't have to pretend anymore. There wasn't a grand moment of recognition or a feeling that changed, it just happened.
Since then things have started to look up. Everything in my life is questionable. There are things I want and things I'm feeling and I'm trying to make sense of them. But for me to make sense of them I need one other persons input. You know when you want something so bad and you are afraid of losing it, or getting your hopes up? That's where I'm at. I'm afraid to let myself think. If I think too much I'll get my hopes up. If I get my hopes up there's a possibility I will be crushed.
If I was a super hero and I could have one power, I would want to read minds. Then there would be no questions to ask about what someone else is thinking. I would just know. I wouldn't have to worry about being hurt again, because I would know their intentions. I would know whether this feeling of home is real or not.
However, I'm not a superhero. I do have the Lord. So I'll just keep on praying...listening...waiting.
