Many of you have followed along through my heartbreak this past year and I am here to tell you that it's officially over. On Sunday he came and picked up his stuff (which I moved from the box to a trash bag). Then on Tuesday we met to talk. He arrived 10 minutes early and was waiting for me. We sat down to talk and at first it was really awkward. He explained to me about his current girlfriend, and how he didn't actually cheat on me. I know that it doesn't seem like he was telling the truth, but I still know him so well and I know when he's lying and when he's telling the truth. He apologized up and down, I could tell how much this hurt him. Jeff is not the kind of guy who hurts people and seeing him today showed me that he really had been hurting. Not as much as me, and he realizes that, but he has been hurting.
There was one question on my mind the entire time that I was afraid to ask, why wasn't I enough. He knew there was something I was thinking that I wasn't asking, and he kept asking me what it was. Eventually I asked. He gave me a look that I know well, it blatantly says, "you're stupid." He told me that I am amazing, that he's sees that now more than he did when we were dating. He told me how he realizes how much he took me for granted then.
We actually had a very pleasant conversation and ended up talking for two hours! We just caught each other up with our lives and our family lives. It was weird how I still felt so comfortable around him. I will always care about him, but I know that I'm over him. It's taken long enough, right?
I'm glad that this chapter is over. It's time to start a new chapter in my life. Jeffrey free.
Bekah, I know it's been forever since we talked, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm arriving at this same point with the breakup that has, unfortunately, controlled every aspect of my being since April. I've finally reached the point where I know it simply was not meant to be, and that God has a guy waiting for me who would never dream of treating me the way my ex did. As much as I still care for him, I'm not wasting an entire summer getting over him. If it was so easy for him to break up with me, it shouldn't be that hard to get over him... Wrong. But, it's been almost three months and I can confidently say that I'm moving on.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you can relate to that, and I know all I ever wanted in these past few months sometimes was just someone to commiserate with, silly right? Just wanted to let you know that I understand exactly where you're coming from :) Anyways, I hope you're doing well otherwise! Seems like college is treating you well, and that's wonderful :)
It always takes a (too) long time to get over breaking. Glad you made it!!
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